Belong

I don't belong anywhere. I often feel that way. Often when I am with other people I feel that I don't fit in…that I am different somehow that I am the puzzle piece that does not fit into the puzzle. I can't help but wonder if I will fit in anywhere. I think that no matter how much people accept me there is a limit to how far that acceptance will go. It does not help very much when organizations like TACA, Cure Autism now and Autism Speaks that claim to want to help autistics such as myself use words like epidemic and cure that make me wonder if autism is just a disease. Am I just some diseased individual that with a few pills perhaps even a vaccination or injection can be cured of who I am? What if I don't want to be cured? What if I am not diseased or sick?

It's very hard to fight such a belief about myself if the rest of the world thinks I am. It's no wonder I don't belong anywhere. I am made to feel like I need to be put in quarantine.

Today life sucks…sucked like the last version of the Mummy. I am not certain what is going on in my life but Murphy's law seems to be the law of the land right now. But rather than whine and complain like a little kid I prefer to think about what can be gleaned from each and everyone of those things. I prefer not to dwell on the negativity of life and look at each occurrence that is a challenge that must be overcome with grace and a bit of humor. Perhaps there is a bit of a Buddhist in me in that I prefer to laugh at tragedy and adversity rather than become angry. Such a negative energy created by such anger does not lead to anything good except to give the impression that you have a hot temper.